If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
