I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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