I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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