it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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