Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
