i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
