You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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