Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
