Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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