Who wears a wallet chain?!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize