just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
