party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
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