Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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