Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She told me I should be a condom model.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
