I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
