Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
