ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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