i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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