Got a toothbrush?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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