Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
