some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
