hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
