Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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