he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
