Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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