i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize