susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it was like eating out sand paper
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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