We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
