I think i peed on brittanys purse
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
