This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
PANTIES FOUND
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