Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
