she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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