Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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