That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
