I hate all girls vehemently.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
