Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
