jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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