I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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