I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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