Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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