He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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