a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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