so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
