Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
