I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
