Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
