I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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