Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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