i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
