He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
