It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
