so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
