My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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