I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
