And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
