id be glad to
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
