so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
