Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
