I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
