Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
