watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
