mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
