just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
